Neil Armstrong The Truth

What he really said when he first walked on the moon.

In 1969, Neil Armstrong made history by becoming the first man to walk on the moon, uttering the immortal phrase, "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Or did he? Previously suppressed footage discovered by blogjam shows that Armstrong's reaction was a great deal more uninhibited than history suggests, and that a hasty editing job was needed to prepare the astronaut's moment of glory for broadcast.

Contains swearing.

[technorati tags: Neil, Armstrong, Truth, immortal, phrase, moon, stupid]

Take Vitamin C and E from a T-shirt

"V-UP / C+E" is a new technology that blends fabric with vitamin C and E by post processing. By combining vitamin E onto C, an even greater anti-oxidation effect has been achieved.
Take Vitamin C and E from a T-shirt.

[technorati tags: Vitamin, T-shirt, medicine]

101 Things Not To Say During Sex

1. But everybody looks funny naked!

2. You woke me up for that?

3. Did I mention the video camera?

4. Do you smell something burning?

5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...

6. Try breathing through your nose

7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!

8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?

9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

10. But whipped cream makes me break out

11. Person 1: This is your first time... right?
Person 2: Yeah... today

12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

13. Can you please pass me the remote control?

14. Do you accept Visa?

15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.

19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?

20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

22. Do you get any premium movie channels?

23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!

24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!

25. Got any penicillin?

26. But I just brushed my teeth...

27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!

28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

29. I want a baby!

30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?

32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...

33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

34. I think you have it on backwards

35. When is this supposed to feel good?

36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

37. You're good enough to do this for a living!

38. Is that blood on the headboard?

39. Did I remember to take my pill?

40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?

41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...

42. That leak better be from the waterbed!

43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!

44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow

45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance...

47. No, really... I do this part better myself!

48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!

49. This would be more fun with a few more people..

50. You're almost as good as my ex!

51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?

52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

53. You look younger than you feel

54. Perhaps you're just out of practice

55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!

56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash

57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...

58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?

59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated

60. What tampon?

61. Have you ever considered liposuction?

62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!

63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?

64. I have a confession...

65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!

66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?

67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?

68. Is that a hanging sculpture?

69. You'll stil vote for me, won't you?

70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?

71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!

72. Did you come yet, dear?

73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...

74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!

75. Does this count as a date?

76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

77. Hic! I need another beer for this please

78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?

79. You can cook, too right?

80. When would you like to meet my parents?

81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...
Woman: Yourself?

82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?

83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names

84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed

85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?

86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?

87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.

88. Sorry but I don't do toes!

89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!

90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!

91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...

92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer"

93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!

94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!

95. Is this a sin too?

96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!

97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?

98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...

99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...

100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?

101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?

Fresh Produce

[technorati tags: Fresh, Produce, bicycle, funny]

Brokeback Mountain 2

Brokeback Mountain 2... From the genius of BlogNYC

36 Brokeback Mountain parody videos!

[technorati tags: Brokeback, Mountain, parody, videos, stupid, funny]

Four babies and a criminal trial

Four Bangladeshi infants have appeared in court in their parents' arms accused of looting and causing criminal damage.
The four - whose ages range from three months to two years - were released on bail after a brief hearing.
The magistrate in the southern city of Chittagong said the case did not appear to be genuine - but the truth would emerge in a police report.
Anyone can file criminal cases in Bangladesh, and the procedure is frequently used to harass people.
The magistrate, Ali Noor, told reporters that he had been "a bit surprised" to see such young children in his court.
"Everything will come out during the police investigation and the report that will be submitted to the court later," he added.
Bail has been granted at $50 per child.
The children are all members of an extended family.
Relatives said the allegations stemmed from a land dispute with a neighbour.

[technorati tags: babies, criminal, trial]

Elite Combat Unicyclists

Several armies maintained bicycle infantry divisions around the time of the second world war. Bicycles were seen as a low cost, low maintenance, low resource (i.e. not needing petrol) form of troop transport.
In the present day several police forces have adopted the mountain bike as an eco and community friendly vehicle.

Unicycles

For combat applications the military have decided that mountain unicycles are more appropriate than mountain bicycles. There are several reasons for this: -
* The riding position is vastly superior to the bicycle for combat i.e. the position is upright enabling better observation, and, more importantly, the hands are free to operate firearms- E.C.U units are trained to engage in fire fights whilst mounted
* Ease of dismount under fire- it is quick and easy to leave the unicyle from any given angle and immediately go to ground; on a bicycle it is necessary to stop first or to be restricted to a sideways roll
* They are easier to maintain in a battle situation, having fewer parts and no chain etc
* They are lighter which aids in carrying over unridable terrain
* Their lower speed is seen as a plus in ambush situations i.e. a bicycle unit is in danger of being in the midst of the ambush before they are aware it is taking place

Psychology

There have been found to be psychological factors which adversely effect an enemy unit under attack from combat unicyclists, primarily the well established 'gawp/double take' effect.
It has been observed that a proportion of the enemy soldiers on realizing that they are under attack by soldiers on unicycles will cease their combat activities and stare in disbelief, they are then highly susceptible to return fire.
Indeed, there are some unconfirmed reports of spontaneous 'enemy applause' with the appearance of E.C.U personnel during a firefight.

Equipment

The unicycles used by E.C.U units are of similar design to the standard Muni i.e. 24" wheel with fat tyre (the thickest civilian tyre is 3", the military ones go up to 5") and brakes. The military models don't have chromed frames; black or disruptive pattern being used instead.
Some models have hub gears enabling high speeds on roads, and suspension with compressed gas units, which enable the rider to clear obstacles up to 2.5 meters high.

Training

E.C.U is an elite unit equivalent to the S.A.S (Special Air Service) of the British military; they engage in the same training as these units i.e. forced marches, 'live round' combat training, escape and evasion; but with the additional difficulty of carrying out these activities whilst on a unicycle.

Combat

Although their use in actual combat situations has been limited due to their specialised role, their operational success rate has been very high, usually ending in 100% enemy causalities.
As a bonus there have been none of the incidents of 'friendly fire' that have plagued other combat units, it being easy to identify fellow E.C.U personnel by the fact that they are on a unicycle.

[technorati tags: elite combat, unicyclists, military, combat, training]

Google lands on Mars

Google now supports mapping of mars. Although the data they use is quite low res, hopefully they will improve this over time.

Using this service, you can browse the martian landscape the same way as using Google Maps. Google has included three different types of data in Google Mars.

• Elevation - A shaded relief map, generated with data from the Mars Orbiter Laser Altimeter (MOLA) on NASA's Mars Global Surveyor spacecraft. This map is color-coded by altitude, so you can use the color key at the lower left to estimate elevations.

• Visible - A mosaic of images taken by the Mars Orbiter Camera (MOC) on NASA's Mars Global Surveyor spacecraft. MOC is like the digital camera you have at home. Basically, this is what your eyes would see if you were in orbit around Mars.

• Infrared - A mosaic of infrared images taken by the Thermal Emission Imaging System (THEMIS) on NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft. Warmer areas appear brighter, and colder areas are darker. Clouds and dust in the atmosphere are transparent in the infrared, making this the sharpest global map of Mars that's ever been made.

When you first load the service, you will see a stunning map of Mars that by default shows you elevation. You can switch between the three views by clicking the buttons in the top right corner.

According to the about page, you cannot currently use the Google Earth client to view Mars data — but they're "working on it"

[technorati tags: Google, Mars, stupid, funny, mapping]

Pubfight

This aim of this site is to help answer the age old question being asked in pubs everywhere ... "Who would win a fight between...?".

[technorati tags: pubfight, fight, pub]

Grow Your Own Ink

Since the introduction of ‘water-based inks’ in screen printing doubts about the true nature of their basis prompted research into the possibility of producing inks from vegetable sources. History suggests that not only is this possible but that it might even be viable as an industrial process. The research reported on here concentrates primarily on the development of a range of ‘process’ or ‘trichromatic’ colours. Complementing this work, the establishment of an ‘Ink Garden’ capable of supplying quantities of plant material for further research, is also described. Initial results show considerable cause for optimism though some problems remain.

[technorati tags: inks, vegetable]