What goes together better than paying for sex and getting a discount on gas? Nothing I can think of…
“If you come in and spend time with one of our lovely ladies, we’ll give you a discount of 20 cents a liter or more,” says manager of Sydney brothel ‘The Site’.
It seems they also offer larger gas discounts based on a complicated algorithym of how fat the lady is and how old she is. Kerry is quoted as saying, “Missy, a 260 lb. 59 year old has become our most sought after lady”. “Considering she is also confined to a wheelchair it is a little surprising, but guys down here love to save money on gas”!
Wow, I am not sure saving money on gas would be worth that…
The man, whom fire officials did not immediately identify, was cleaning the glass on the 20th floor of the Fifth Third Bank building on Church Street when several onlookers noticed he was not moving.
The man came to after firefighters sprayed him with the fire-hose to get his attention. The worker lowered himself to the sidewalk, where he walked over to an ambulance to be examined by paramedics.
Assistant Fire Chief Lee Berg eron said it “looked like he just fell asleep” but added that he couldn’t be certain. Three men who took possession of the worker’s equipment refused to comment, with one saying the man had “fought for his country, and had heat-stroke” and should be left alone. That did not stop his boss Ian Milldown from firing him on the spot saying, “He is a danger to himself”.
Nashville district Fire Chief Henry Booker said the worker was being taken to Baptist Hospital to be checked for a rapid heartbeat, but said he expected the man to be released shortly. Some have critisized the fire department as being too aggresive by spraying him with water, but a local police officer said, “We thought of tasering him to wake him up, now that would have been a hoot”!
Advertisers recently installed posters in several San Francisco bus shelters that give off the scent of freshly baked cookies, this ploy is designed to get folks thinking about drinking more milk.
The technology that creates the scent is identical to that used in magazine ads for perfume and other scented products. Adhesives coated with the scent are placed throughout the interior of the bus shelters, including under the benches.
“As long as they are not harmful chemicals, it’s OK,” one somewhat confused elderly woman said as she pondered the cookie smell in one of the shelters. “They are trying to sell milk? Is that it?”
The effort at five bus shelters is part of a campaign cooked up by the California Milk Processor Board, whose iconic “Got Milk?” campaign has adorned famous figures from around the world with milk moustaches for 13 years.
There is a rumor they will be trying this type of advertising in New York but first they have to figure out how to get the smell of urine out of the bus shelters. An un-named source in the New York government is quoted as saying, “Cookies and pee don’t mix too well, we don’t want folks puking while catching their morning bus”.
“Ya, when I got home that night he (Kevin Federline) was burning all kinds of stuff in the fireplace”. “All my bras and underwear, he was shouting like a crazy person.” “He finally stopped when I grabbed a picture of him and Clinton and threatened to rip it”. “Here is the pair that made me laugh the hardest (see inset photo) ”. “He is such a loser, I am so glad to be rid of him.” “Victoria secret’s new line is out in a few days and I have an order in for the complete collection.” “Till then I guess I just go ‘au natural’.
Here are a few weird facts, which ones do you think are true and which are false?
1. Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian, had only one testicle and always slept with a light on?
2. It’s against the law to burp, pass-wind or sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA?
3. One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your ear?
4. On average a warthog’s heart beats 300 times a minute?
Brandy the Chihuahua is 6 inches long and weighs less that two pounds. She's not allowed on the furniture because if she jumped off, she'd break. She's also, according the Guinness, officially the Smallest Dog in the World.
Brandy's owner, Paulette Keller, carries her around in a sheepskin-lined purse. For fun, she dresses her in a pink Hawaiian dress. You don't pet Brandy so much as rub her with a thumb and forefinger.
Brandy made the transformation from Keller's lap ornament to the Smallest Dog in the World over a year ago. The breeder told Keller she thought Brandy was smaller than the smallest dog in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Keller took Brandy to the vet, who signed papers listing her vital statistics.
So in the 2006 Guinness book, there is bug-eyed Brandy, on the same page with the dog who can fit five tennis balls in its mouth.
The perks so far have been few. Last year, the Pedigree dog food company paid to fly Ron and Paulette Keller to Reno, where Brandy was paired with one of the largest dogs in the world for a three-day exhibit at a casino.
Keller says she doesn't care about the attention.
"I just love her," she told the St. Petersburg Times. "It wouldn't matter if she's the smallest. She's just a really sweet dog."
The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean, then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him. "It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park, told AFP.
"After it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately, it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim, eat and sleep together," the ecologist added. "The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added.
"The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years," he explained.
(I think this is one of the cutest, sweetest and most endearing things I’ve come across in quite some time – Emily)
He’s cute. He’s cuddly. And apparently he has a knack for lighting his farts on fire. He is the new mascot for web browser Mozilla/Firefox in Japan, who has just been named Foxkeh after a contest was held on their official website.
If you’re thinking about taking a sick day without being sick, try to avoid the following excuses, which are all true and have been compiled by Career Builder via hiring managers:
1. Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.
2. A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.
3. Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
4. Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out.
5. Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.
6. Employee’s wife said he couldn’t come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.
7. One of the walls in the employee’s home fell off the night before.
8. Employee’s mother was in jail.
9. A skunk got into the employee’s house and sprayed all of his uniforms.
10. Employee had a bad case of hiccups.
11. Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.
12. Employee’s horses got loose and were running down the highway.
13. Employee was hit by a bus while walking.
14. Employee’s dog swallowed her bus pass.
15. Employee was sad.
Remember, managers are crafty folk, who can smell bullshit through the phone. Take your time thinking of your alibi and excuse before making that call!
