Mar 15, 2007

Looking for a cool new gadget?

Looking for a cool new gadget? Or a gift gadget.? Is the gift for a friend? A friend that has the same kind of goofy sense of humor that you have? A friend that will sit with you and watch a Three Stooges Marathon and laugh all the way? (We're talking Mars - not Venus - here)
Well, my friend, I have just the site for you. For cool new gadgets - for the gadget gift that keeps on giving (and sometimes ruins friendships)

Or, You Could Pick A Fight With a Stranger

Pow! An interactive boxing workout with a sci-fi theme! The Robo Boxer provides a realistic human-shaped opponent, with graphical target zones to perfect your aim. With each blow, the Robo Boxer bounces back, coming with a multi-directional response to keep you on your toes. Adjustable suspension controls the speed of rebound. Six levels of height adjustment raises target from 60" up to 70". Heavy-duty steel con-struction provides plenty of support for long-lasting use. Folds down and rolls away for easy storage. 64 x 35 x 62-70", 86 lbs. $99.99
“realistic human-shaped opponent”
I give up. I’m running away to Europe. (Thanks to Helen for the headline)

Brings Out That Animal In You On Your Wedding Night

Wolf Print Bedroom Accessories
Liven up your bedroom decor with this luxurious bed collection. It features a stunning wildlife design with magnificent wolves adorning the plush quilted comforter and shams. The coordinating bed skirt and back of the comforter have a lush, leaf-patterned print. Imported in machine-wash-and-dry polyester/cotton. The comforter has polyester fiberfill.

Death By Harfing

All-In-One Hat and Scarf will keep you toasty warm this winter. Attractive faux fur hat features an attached 4 foot long knit scarf that protects face, neck, and throat from chilly winds and cold weather. Soft, washable acrylic. One size fits all. Made inUSA. $9.98
You know what's funny about this? When you forget that you're wearing a "harf" and try to take your hat off and accidentally strangle yourself. HA! HA!

When Personalization Goes Awry

Show your true school spirit with this premier customizable class ring. A wonderful gift or keepsake, this classic oval high school class ring is easy to person-alize with a name or any 10-character text, any graduation year, a favorite activity, school mascot, colors and much more. (From Walmart)
Perfect for those who dropped out of high school or never went to college. Get one from Harvard or Yale and hit the bars!

Egg On My Face

There's never been a smarter way to eat the best meal of the day. Dual holder readies one below. Dishwasher safe glass is 4" high, 2 1/2" diameter. $1.99
Alright, I'll admit that I need help with this one. How does this work? Do you take the scalding hot egg out of the pot and try to get it under the glass on the bottom? And why would you do this? And won't the boiling hot egg on the bottom eventually ruin my vinyl tablecloth? And why not just use two next to each other?

Molly McGadget

"Butter Slicer makes 16 uniform slices to serve perfectly square butter pats, just like restaurants. Guests can easily help themselves. Dishwasher safe cutter with stainless steel wires is 7" x 2 3/4" x 7/8". Marble base not included. $6.99"
Yes, I'm sure that all restaurants use this exact same dollar-store grade gadget from Walter Drake. I like how they conveniently leave out the fact that cold, hard butter will bend this thing into oblivion. And good luck getting all those slippery, jiggly slices of butter into a neat little row (pictured) without a mess. This is more trouble than it's worth. Just use a frickin knife.

Ice Ice (Cry)Baby

Retro Ice Tapper cracks cubes with a single pat! Classic kitchen essential breaks up ice into more manageable bits for beverages, cold food trays, and for soothing ice wraps. Dishwasher safe plastic and metal is 10 1/2" long. $5.49

Or, you could:
a) use less ice
b) let them melt
c) use a hammer
d) waste some more money on a "mini" ice cube tray
e) stop being a fussy little crybaby
And, are you supposed to hold the ice cube in your hand in front of company while you whack it? That's just disgusting.

Just Stick To Coffee, Okay?

Electric Egg Cooker. Take the guesswork out of boiling or poaching eggs with this space-age-shaped countertop cooker. Cooks four hard or soft-boiled eggs, or poaches three eggs at once, alerting you when they’re done. Easy-to-set switch. Measuring cup and egg piercer included. 6"D x 5"H. $34.95

This makes me want to slap someone. Doesn't anyone want to learn how to do anything anymore? "Takes the guesswork out of boiling eggs." Ever hear of "practice" or "trial and error"? If you can't boil a frickin egg, then what does that say about you? Comes from Gevalia, of all places. Click here to laugh at them.