Killed by her alarm clock

A GRIEVING mother says she has proof her daughter was killed by an alarm clock.
DNA Tests have finally shown nurse Lisa Jane Browne, 27, suffered a rare condition which could have caused her heart to stop in shock when the alarm woke her in January 1998.
A coroner recorded an open verdict saying the cause of Lisa's death was a mystery.
But now Lisa's mum wants the inquest re-opened after discovering Lisa had Long QT Syndrome.

Doreen Harley and her husband Terry - who have spent the past seven years trying to prove their daughter was ill - had a sample of Lisa's tissue sent to Sweden for analysis two years ago.
She said: "It took 20 months to diagnose Lisa definitely had Long QT. We could never accept she died for no reason. To put everything in place we need a certificate showing the new cause of death."

The syndrome, which affects around one in 7,000, is a disorder of the heart's electrical rhythm - leaving victims open to heart attacks which can be produced by sudden shocks.
Mrs Harley, of Connah's Quay, North Wales, is convinced the alarm stopped Lisa's heart.
The family then found Lisa's sister Rachel had Long QT. She had a pacemaker fitted, which saved her when a shock triggered a heart attack.
Cheshire coroner Nicholas Rheinberger is considering reopening Lisa's inquest.
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[technorati tags: alarm, clock, killed, stupid]

I guess that counts as a hit

[technorati tags: fence, hit, stupid, funny]

Woman Mistakes Piranahs For Goldfish

A woman almost lost her hand after putting it into a tank filled with piranhas.
The woman from Saransk, Russia was trying to clean the tank when the carnivorous fish attacked her in a feeding frenzy during which they stripped the flesh from two fingers.
The predators only let go when the woman smashed them against the side of the tank.
Doctors said the woman was lucky not to lose her hand which required surgery to save it.
The woman had thought the tank, which belonged to her son, only contained goldfish. A neighbour said: "She had no idea the pet fish in the tank were predators."

[technorati tags: woman, hand, tank, piranhas]

What A Talent

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Shepherd stolen instead of sheep

A curious theft of an animal happened in Krasnodar region, in the south of Russia: tourists stole a Caucasian Sheepdog, mistaken for a ram. Two families were returning home from a picnic in the mountains, when they were caught by the pouring rain…

Further driving became almost impossible. The men decided to seat their wives and children into one car and used the other car to go a little ahead to find out the road. Suddenly they found themselves in the thick of a huge flock of sheep. Seeing that the flock's owner had gone far away, the tourists made up their minds to steal a sheep. They opened a door, chose, practically gropingly due to a thick shroud of rain, the largest sheep and dragged him inside. After a brief fight in the car, the men jumped out like a shot from a gun. As it proved, the tourists mistakenly dragged in a Caucasian sheepdog (on the photo) instead of a fat sheep. Obeying to the protector's instinct, the dog didn't allow the unlucky hunters into the car. The shepherd took pity on the scared and wet to the skin tourists and even didn't report an attempt at theft to the police.

[technorati tags: Shepherd, stolen, sheep, dog, stupid]

These guys know how to party

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Things You'd Love to Say at Work, but Can't

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

It just doesn't seem right

[technorati tags: just, seem, right, duck, girl, funny]

Coal Train In Trouble

It was a normal day in Sharon Springs, Kansas when a Union Pacific crew boarded a loaded coal train for the long trek back to Salina.
Just a few kilometers into the trip, a wheel bearing became overheated and melted off letting the truck support drop down and grind on top of the rail creating white hot molten metal droppings that spewed down onto the rails.
The GOOD NEWS to this is that a very alert crew noticed a small amount of smoke halfway back in the train and immediately stopped the train in compliance with the rules.
The BAD NEWS to this is that the train just happened to stop with its hot weeels on top of a wooden trestle bridge built with creosoted ties, bents and trusses.

Humunga Tongue

The world of dog toys is filled with weird and wonderful bits and bobs: squeakers, rubber bones, fetch toys - the list is endless. But it takes a particularly innovative dog toy to make your good friends here at Firebox sit up and beg for more. Thankfully the supremely silly Humunga Tongue did exactly that the minute we saw it dangling from the mouth of one of our roving product researchers (not something we'd recommend, as it's for dogs, not humans!).