What does this button do?
* It's probably just a rash.
* Are you sure the power is off?
* The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!
* Which wire was I supposed to cut?
* I wonder where the mother bear is.
* I've seen this done on TV.
* These are the good kind of mushrooms.
* It's strong enough for both of us.
* This doesn't taste right.
* I can do that with my eyes closed.
* I've done this before.
* Well, we've made it this far.
* That's odd.
* You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
* Don't be so superstitious.
* Now watch this.
This is a quote:
We are a privately-owned independent enterprise that specializes in reliable contract killings. We offer a variety of assassination services, customized to suit particular needs of our clients.
Our firm consists of a small team of highly-skilled, and experienced, specialists. We are the industry leader in innovative killing approaches and have built a lasting reputation over decades of outstanding services for clients on five continents.
Instead of fiddling around with amateur killing techniques and messing up crime scenes just pick up the phone and give us a call. After reviewing your case, our team will develop a customized package that is best-suited for your particular situation. You provide us with the name of your mark, along with a photo and personal details, and take a vacation; we'll make sure one of our specialists sends flowers to the grieving widow while you enjoy your margaritas on the beach.
I'm guessing this isn't real.
Designed and built by Airquee Ltd, The pub is the latest development
from Andi Francis, who also created the worlds first Inflatable Church.
The pub is 40ft long, 19ft wide and 22ft high. It can be customised
for use as a fully working pub, with room for a bar and 30 customers.
The pub can be erected in 10 minutes with 2 small blowers
and can be sited on any firm, level surface.
DUBLIN, Ohio — During a routine inspection of First Nazarene Church's facility last month, state regulators heard "a weakened voice singing hymns" in a basement utility closet. They broke the lock and found the church youth pastor inside, chained to a shelf and trying to write a lively midweek youth sermon by candlelight.
"It was shocking and sad," the inspector said.
Cruelty to youth pastors has always been a quiet part of church life, under the guise of job preparation and "training a servant's heart," but some youth pastors are speaking out and saying the hazing has gone too far.
It must be understood that the new art of self-defence with a walking-stick, herewith introduced for the first time, differs essentially from single-stick or sword-play; for a man may be a champion in the use of sword or single-stick and yet be quite unable to put a walking-stick to any effective use as a weapon of defence. The simple and sufficient reason to account for this is that both in single-stick and sword-play a cut is always taken up by the hilt of the weapon, whereas if you attempted to guard a blow with a walking-stick -- which has no hilt -- in the same way as you would with a sword, the blow would slide down your stick onto your hand and disable you. Therefore, in order to make a stick a real means of self-defence, it has been necessary to devise a system by which one can guard a blow in such a way as to cause it to slide away from the hand instead of toward it, and thus obviate the risk of being disarmed by being hit upon the fingers.
After some fifteen years of hard work, such a system has been devised by a Swiss professor of arms, M. Vigny. It has recently been assimilated by me into my system of self-defence called "Bartitsu."
In the art of self-defence with a walking-stick, the stick is held in the hand with the thumb overlapping the fingers, and not, as in single-stick or sword-play, with the thumb resting on the blade. The stick is therefore manipulated with the wrist -- and not with the fingers as in sword-play -- and the blows are given by swinging the body on the hips -- and not merely by flips from the elbow. In this way blows can be made so formidable that with an ordinary malacca cane it is possible to sever a man's jugular vein through the collar of his overcoat.
There's no getting around it. At some point in your career, your patience will be tested with a stupid client who is so clueless that you'll question your sanity, career choice, and the future of mankind.
You may have dealt with one already, one that just stuns you like a deer in headlights. Dumbfounded to utter anything but an "uhhh...". Some clients have no concept of reality. They make up their mind, just to change it again to an even more hideous decision. And will end up blaming you for the mess. Can we honestly blame the client? Sure we can...
Clientcopia was created to give you an escape. Take joy in knowing you are not alone.
I call this archive of stupidities... in "None of the Above" Style