My Name Deciphered (Ionut)

Literal meaning

"A powerful gypsy curse."

First changed from another name by deed poll around 11am, the name Ionut was originally used charmingly to refer to those bred solely for organ harvesting, before a wager between De Mancy Oblast and the Earl of Warwick altered its destiny.

1. Ionut O'Orbiting-Cangoose, co-habitee of two people associated with bungee-jumping;
2. Ionut Oaf, named in court as holding compromising material concerning the world's most popular cosh; ghost-writer of Punchy Massive's phenomenally foul-mouthed autobiography, TOOT-A-TWANG-TWANG;
3. Ionut Tidecatcher-Grating ("The Reasonably Broadly Educated"), haunted by an image of the everlasting trouser;
4. Ionut Lonfial, champion of the right to use the indestructible tortoise;
5. Brigadier-General Ionut S'Ess, populariser of the world's most attractive bucket; first holder of the office of Gross Miscarriager of Justice;
6. Ionut Millington, disgusted by the methods of Judge Dredd;
7. Ionut E du Chinly, MA, BA, aroused by physics;
8. Ionut du Trabmaw ("The Thing"), reputedly trapped for four days under a fallen monument to the entertainment industry blacklist; last holder of the office of Official Kerb-Trip-Overer;
9. Ionut R Boonk, co-writer of INDIANA JONES AND HALF-MAN HALF-BISCUIT GO HULA; last holder of the office of Police-constable;
10. Ionut B Jesus, who discovered a creature from the id; ghost-writer of Richard Stilgoe's entirely adjectiveless autobiography, YES, I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD TOO.

"In the tum-de-tum-de-dum comes the dum-de-dum-de-dum."