World Beard and Moustache Championships

The World Beard and Moustache Championships is a biennial event supported by beard and moustache clubs in at least nine countries.
Future championships are set for 2007 in London. The responsibility for organizing the championships will be with London's famous Handlebar Club.

[technorati tags: beard, moustache]

Subdermal implants: body-mods that give you cool lumps

Quinn Norton profiles the body-modification practice of subdermal implants, through which substances like molded silicone are slid beneath the skin to produce raised, shaped lumps. BMEZine's Shannon Larratt -- whose site and work often appear here -- is featured in the story, which covers the connection with this work and implanted RFIDs, and why the plastic surgery establishment won't touch it.
The process creates a raised area on the skin in a shape of the artist's choosing. The effect is dramatic: Implants can be most any form you can think of, from Star Trek ridges and small horns, to little stars and hearts sprayed across the chest. Many people with body modifications have combined their implants with tattoos to create often beautiful or terrible effects.
Subdermal implants

[technorati tags: Subdermal, implants, body-mods, cool, lumps]

Build your own Gas Mask from computer parts

Can't you buy expensive gas masks? Do you need one? are you a computer geek?
If you answered yes to this three questions, then this is your page! We're gone to build our gak mask from computer parts at cost almost 0.
The main idea is to protect you agains hazardous elements that could invade the air in your home or country. If you fear anthrax, variola, ebola, alien viruses from outer space you must build it to feel safe. If nuclear war doesn't come you can always use it on the disco when it's full of smoke.
Evil could be everywere and you must be prepared! Don't waste your money on beautilful masks than won't protect you. SorgoMask (TM) will protect you even underwater. Don't wait and don't forget to build one for everyone in your family. It's also the perfect gift for christmas time.

[technorati tags: computer parts, gasmask, gas, mask, stupid]

PC file kidnappers demand ransom

A new trojan that holds computer files "hostage" and then then demands a $US300 ($410) ransom for their safe return has been identified by a virus tracking company.

The trojan has been labelled "ransomware" because it uses malicious code to hijack user files and to encrypt them so they cannot be accessed. It then asks for payment in return for the decryption key.

It was discovered by security company LURHQ, which has identified the threat as Cryzip. It is the first ransomware to be identified since May last year when Websense Security Labs found a similar trojan.

LURHQ said that Cryzip encryption was based on a more robust commercial zip library than its predecessor, which applied a custom encryption scheme to files.

The trojan leaves a text message for victims, which tells them they picked it up from an online porn site and warns them not to search for their files or to contact police.

"Do not try to search for a program what encrypted your information - it is simply do not exists in your hard disk anymore. If you really care about documents and information in encrypted files you can pay using electonic currency $300," the text message says.

Denial of service attacks are currently the most popular method of extorting money online and internet companies, such as online casinos, are often targeted in these attacks. They are launched by overwhelming their networks using bot-infected computers and money is then demanded to stop the attacks.

The Cryzip trojan seeks to extort money on a much smaller scale and is not believed to be very widespread, said LURHQ.

"As such, most users will probably not have to worry about this threat ... keep in mind, however, that the two incidents in the last 10 months indicate the possible start of a trend of this type of malware, and future incidents may affect a wider swath of users," the company said.

Chris Horsley, security analyst at computer emergency response team Auscert, said no reports of the trojan had yet been received in Australia.

"I suppose this type of attack does have a particular threat to it. To receive an email like this is a very scary proposition, but there are other areas where money can be made more effectively by criminals, namely through keylogging and phishing," he said.

He added that the Cryzip trojan lacked the stealth of other attacks with the extortionist required to make contact with the victim to receive payment.

In a recent security report, Symantec said an increasing trend in computer attacks was the silent theft of data for profit without doing noticeable damage that would alert a user to its presence.

[technorati tags: PC, file, kidnappers, demand, ransom, encrypt, information]

Bogus Healer Convicted in Mermaids Case

HARARE, Zimbabwe -- A bogus traditional healer who persuaded a businesswoman to hire "mermaids" and accommodate them in a Harare hotel to help find a stolen car was convicted of theft by false pretenses, court officials said Tuesday.
Harare magistrate Sandra Nhau found Edina Chizema guilty of swindling a businesswoman of her savings with promises that mermaids would help recover the luxury car in 2004 and solve the businesswoman's unspecified "personal problems."
In Zimbabwe, where tribal superstition is deeply entrenched, prosecutors said Chizema persuaded Margaret Mapfumo to pay 200 million Zimbabwe dollars (about $30,000) to hire mermaids, feed and accommodate them in a Harare hotel, buy power generators for a floodlit lakeside ceremony and invoke ancestral spirits to find the missing car.
Some of the money was to be used to buy a bull whose genitals -- described in court as the animal's "strong part" -- would point out the car thief, prosecutors said.
At a hearing Monday, the magistrate said Chizema, who had pleaded not guilty and claimed to be a spirit medium, was not a credible witness and the "idiosyncrasies" of her plea were not recognized in law.
Chizema will be sentenced to imprisonment or a fine at a sentencing hearing later, the court officials said.
In Zimbabwe, prominent figures and even leading politicians have often been the victims of such scams.

[technorati tags: bogus, healer, mermaids, scam]

$3,500 USB Key Sports Gold, Diamonds

What do you buy for the geek that has everything? Well, certainly not a $3,500 gold-plated, diamond-encrusted USB memory stick.

White Lake said Thursday that it will introduce a exclusive USB stick at the CeBIT show on March 9 in Hannover, Germany. But the $3,500 USB key isn't about function in fact, the capacity of the USB stick wasn't even mentioned. However the capacities will include 128MB, 256MB, 512MB and 1024MB.

According to White Lake the USB stick is now also available as a luxury item rather than as a plastic commodity. It's made of 14-carat gold and sports five polished diamonds.

"This product will open new markets for us," said White Lake owner Rob van Berkom, in a statement. "We have sold huge amounts of personalized USB stick with logos over the past year. Our customers used them as a give-away. Some of them asked us for a more exclusive product line. This stick meets their demand, so we expect to sell quite a few of them."

The USB stick was hand made and was designed by the Dutch goldsmith Erwin de Vroome, and can be customized still further.

[technorati tags: USB, stick, gold, customize, sports, key]

I Park Like An Idiot

Let people know.

[technorati tags: Park, Idiot, stupid]

We're On Our Holidays

And we're going to enjoy ourselves.

[technorati tags: holidays, rain, umbrella, coat, stupid]

Statue Molesters

Pictures of people molesting statues. Contains statues being molested.

[technorati tags: Pictures, , molesters, statue, stupid]

Steve, Don't Eat It!

Potted Meat Food Product

There aren't too many products that feel the need to reassure you that they are, in fact, "food." Already not a good sign.

The list of ingredients is long and horrifying, coming right out of the gate with "MECHANICALLY SEPARATED CHICKEN." Oddly enough, I'm about to be separated from my lunch, and I haven't even opened the can yet.

Other ingredients include BEEF TRIPE, BEEF HEARTS, AND "PARTIALLY DE-FATTED COOKED PORK FATTY TISSUE" How does one de-fat fat? Bizarre. God knows what else is in here.

Okay, I'm going to go try it now. If i'm not back in ten minutes, call Poison Control...

Looks like he did.

[technorati tags: food, meat, product, beef, cook]

The Unseen Video

The Unseen Video,
a weather controlled, dynamic music video for Mike Milosh's - You Make Me Feel.

The Unseen Video is much more than a normal, static music video. It is a video that is affected by the weather and local time from the position of the viewer.

We want to create new synergies between the music, the video and the surroundings of the viewer. Every little change in your environment ensures that you will never see the same video twice. The look of the video might slightly change within an hour, but will have a whole new character in a few months.

The Unseen Video

[technorati tags: Unseen, Video, music, weather, nice]

The Lawn Couch

How much oxygen did your furniture produce today? In our version of the future, the things we loaf about on indoors will be as beneficial as the stuff that grows out back. In the meantime, sculpt lawn furniture from the lawn itself. Unlike your standard-issue sofa, this lush greenery is totally organic, requires no synthetic finishes, and can be brought to life, Golem-style, from salvaged dirt. St. Augustine tiles create a seamless, living upholstery, or try wheatgrass for a durable alternative. Ask your nursery about planting tips unique to your sod. Note: Couch may require mowing.

Note: Couch may require mowing.

[technorati tags: couch, furniture, sculpt, lawn, funny]

The Archive of Misheard Lyrics

The Archive of Misheard Lyrics, the only domain named after the world's most commonly misheard lyric (or is it? full scoop on Hendrix and this "mishearance.")

Funniest 250 Lyrics

The archive of Misheard Lyrics.

[technorati tags: Archive, Misheard, Lyrics, lyrics, funny]

The Infinite Teen Slang Dictionary

There are a near-infinite number of slang words which are still only in hypothetical usage among the youth of today and tomorrow - this service attempts to pre-emptively catalogue them, for the benefit of baby namers, dot-com registrars and other dangerously bored people.


Enter a name or word or phrase, to see what it might (but doesn't) mean.

Potential teen slang generator.

[technorati tags: Infinite, Teen, Slang, Dictionary, stupid]

The answer to inner city parking problems?

[technorati tags: city, parking, problems, car, stupid, funny]

K9 Water

Toilet Water, Puddle Water, Hose Water and Gutter Water, the world’s first vitamin fortified bottled water specifically formulated to provide your dog with essential vitamins that contribute to overall good health and provide the hydration your dog needs.

Special water for dogs.

[technorati tags: water, dogs, toilet, puddle, health, hydration]

Guitar Toilet Seats

I try to avoid ebay stuff, but these Guitar Toilet Seats look good.

Not sure how hygenic they'd be, mind.

[technorati tags: Guitar, Toilet, Seats, stupid]

Essential Vocabulary Words for the Workplace

• BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a Deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
  
• SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, Craps on everything, and then leaves.
  
• ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
  
• SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
  
• CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
  
• PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
  
• MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
  
• SITCOM's - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
  
• STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
  
• SWIPEOUT - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
  
• XEROX SUBSIDY - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's work place.
  
• IRRITAINMENT - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example - Michael Jackson, another.
  
• PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE-The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
  
• ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
  
• 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
  
• GENERICA - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
  
• OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake)
  
• WOOFS - Well-Off Older Folks.
  
• CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

[technorati tags: Vocabulary, Words, , Workplace, Stupid]

Be My Anti-Valentine

Valentine's Day is like herpes: just when you think its gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more. No wonder some people prefer to call it VD.

Yes, it's that special time of year when chocolate manufacturers and greetings card companies encourage you to demonstrate the extent of your fondness in cold, hard, cash (or the satin-covered equivalent) on February 14th.
Fuck that.

A fine selection of Anti-Valentine cards.

[technorati tags: Valentine, anti-valentines, herpes, candy, stupid]

Can You Hear Me Now?

[technorati tags: mobile, boat]

Face Recognition

One of the world's first services to apply advanced face recognition technology to personal photos and family history.

You can upload your family's elusive old photos that no-one in your family knows who is in them and let MyHeritage.com try to recognize these people. If some other member on MyHeritage.com contributed another photo with one of your mystery people, MyHeritage.com will make the facial connection, show you the similar faces and allow you to get in touch with people who submitted photos relevant to you.

Face Recognition

Grate idea, but wrong results

[technorati tags: Face Recognition, photos, family, history]

Cryptozoology Action Figures

Cryptozoology is the study of animals that are presumed to exist, but for which conclusive proof is missing. The term also includes the study of animals generally considered extinct, but which are still occasionally reported.

Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, Mothman, Chupacabra, those kind of creatures. There have been some pretty cool cryptozoology action figures over the years. The Mezco Cryptozoology series were anticipated for quite some time before being eventually released. Supposedly, they were delayed due to negotiations over the licensing of a videogame that was to feature their likeness.

[technorati tags: Cryptozoology, Action, Figures, monsters, bigfoot]

Hamster-Powered Music Sequencer

Six hamsters, some sensors, a midi box, and some intelligent software come together to make music.

This project was initially fueled by the desire to explore the MIDI protocol. It was decided that this would be accomplished by building a MIDI device. I also aimed to make something novel that had never been done before. But to balance out the unusual nature of its design, I wanted to also to create something that was very musical.After much consideration of different technical design aspects and contemplating various musical ideas, I was able to arrive at a project that would fulfill all of my musical and engineering goals.An intelligent MIDI sequencer was designed with hamster control. The MIDI sequencer intelligently produced melodies by manipulating the musical elements of rhythm and note-choice. Guided by inputs based on hamster movements, Markov chains were used to perform such beat and note computations. In culmination, 3 simultaneous voices were produced spanning 3 octaves and 3 rhythmic tiers. Each voice was controlled by two hamsters: one that was responsible for adjusting the rhythmic qualities of the melody and another that modified the note sequence. With all of these elements in combination, an output was produced with very musical qualities.All of this was implemented using an Atmel Mega32 microcontroller, distance sensors, a HamsterMIDI Controller, and 6 hamsters. Embedded C programming implemented the algorithms and computations within the sequencer.Overall, this project was successful. The control between the hamsters and the musical intelligence turned out very well. The music sounds as good as I imagined, and I am very satisfied with the outcome of my design experience.

Intelligent MIDI Sequencing with Hamster Control

[technorati tags: Hamster, Music, Sequencer, hamsters, hamster, stupid]

Lorelei Hunt

Lorelei Hunt has been helping people communicate with their animals since 1996. Using telepathy, she conveys what an animal is thinking and feeling as well as answers to any questions that their humans ask them. Lorelei's experiences range from domestic dogs and cats to wild animals in captivity and wildlife refuges. Through lectures, workshops and practice groups, she is committed to teaching people how to use their natural telepathic abilities to speak with the animals.

Lorelei has completed advanced studies under Anita Curtis and Penelope Smith, who is a pioneer in the field of Interspecies Telepathic Communication. As an ordained minister, Lorelei can offer spiritual counseling for you and your pet.

Lorelei lives in New Castle, Delaware with canine friends Kelsey and Libby, and
with felines General, Dazzle, and Simon.

She communicates telepathically with animals.

[technorati tags: Telepathic, Communication, telepathy, animals, pets, stupid]

Hatebeak - A death metal band with a parrot for a singer.

Face-crushing guitars, head-pounding drums, bass so low you'll vacate your bowels, and vocals so scorching, so extreme they simply can't be human! They're not. This death metal outfit with a parrot for a singer makes trashes the pathetic birdfeeder you call the metal underground!
That's correct, a parrot for a singer, savaging you with feathers of razored steel! This is not Jimmy Buffet's parrot - be warned! Try as one might, they will not escape the claw; nothing can dodge the talons of hate!! These three songs are an ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY beak in the ass of all things sacred in the underground. The holiest shrines of metal and hardcore seriousness are duly trashed, burned, laid to waste, smeared in Avian excrement. The pecking order has been established! For the last time, it really is a parrot, not the loser from Six Feet Under.
Groundbreaking, nest-crushing, egg-shattering! You can run, but you can't fly.
Hatebeak

[technorati tags: Hatebeak, death, metal band, parrot, singer]

Instant Spells

From Madame Fared.
Have you tried to cast spells or make your own lucky bags with no success? This is because you do not have the force of concentration that is needed. It can only be developed over many years. Those who sell the spell kits do not tell you this.

The Instant Spells that I will perform for you are listed below. A small donation of $13.13 is required to activate the Spell. These Spells I will perform to bring back a lover or mate, to give you needed luck in gambling or games or or to bring a specified amount of money if you are in need.

[technorati tags: spells, cast spells, ]

Book-A-Minute

Don't have time to read it all?

We at Book-A-Minute understand that your time is valuable. You want to experience the wonder and excitement of the fine art of literature, but reading actual books requires a significant time investment. We've got the solution for you. Our ultra-condensed books are just the ticket.For when time is short.

[technorati tags: Book-A-Minute, reading, books, stupid]

The Twilight Bone

Psychic Pets.

Is your pet psychic? Biologist Rupert Sheldrake says that living things have morphogenic fields- invisible vibrations that surround and give shape to life forms, and affect their behaviour. This telepathic interconnection extends across the barriers between species and may even increase the intelligence of animals as a result of contact with their human masters and companions. Pets have often been known to mimic human behaviour and can sometimes display remarkably intelligent actions. For example they frequently learn to cope with the door fasteners of new refrigerators so that they can help themselves to food, within minutes of the refrigerator's installation.

[technorati tags: psychic, pets, twilight, bone, telepathic]

Revenge Lady

Revenge Advice - Revenge Lady gives advice on using the ancient art of revenge to bring humor and happiness back to your life. Come rediscover this traditional code of honor. It’s justice, plain and simple.

Revenge Lady gives advice on using the ancient art of revenge.

[technorati tags: Revenge, Lady, revende, ancient art, ]

Russian man lives normal life with a still heart

The man's heart stopped beating after a heart attack, but the man did not die

Nikolai Mikhalnichuk, a resident of the Russian city of Saratov, is a unique man. He is the only person in Russia, who lives with a still heart.

The story started several years ago, when Nikolai's relationship with his wife, Lydia, started worsening. Lydia was coming home late, Nikolai was answering dead phone calls: he realized that she was having a love affair. One day Lydia said that she wanted to leave him.
Nikolai was crushed with the news – he had a heart attack at night. He felt sharp pain in the chest, and it took him great efforts to call an ambulance. When doctors looked at the cardiogram, they were surprised to see that the graphic waves on the paper did not look like usual ones – Nikolai's diagram was much smaller.
When doctors examined Nikolai's heart through blood vessels, they were shocked to find out that the man's heart was not beating, although the vessels continued pumping his blood. Nikolai's body was functioning on the base of absolutely unknown rules.

[technorati tags: russian, lives, life, heart, , blood]

Reflex Save?

[technorati tags: Reflex, Save, football, stupid]

Discovery on Mars

[technorati tags: Discovery, Mars, joke, funny]

An Irish Scarecrow

[technorati tags: Irish, Scarecrow, funny]

Bunny suicides!

[technorati tags: Bunny, suicides, funny]

Driver fined for 'having a face like a moron'

A Romanian traffic cop has been demoted after he fined a driver for "having a face like a moron and being a big monkey".

Marius Vlasceanu pulled over Gheorghe Tosa as he drove through Craiova in Romania, local daily Jurnalul National reported.

But Tosa failed to see the funny side as Vlasceanu fined him £22 and handed him a ticket explaining the reason for the fine was "having a face like a moron and being a big monkey".

Head of the Romanian police Dan Fatuloiu said Vlasceanu, who claimed he had handed out the fine as a joke, had been demoted for "inappropriate behaviour and defaming the police force".

He has now been given a desk job in a remote village.

[technorati tags: driver, fine, face, moron, police, traffic, village]

Head Case

[technorati tags: head, case, smile]

For Sale: 12 Wheels With Tyres

[technorati tags: sale, wheels, tyres, cops, cop, police, stupid]

Not The Most Effective Use Of A Bike Lock

[technorati tags: effective use, effective, use, bike, lock, bike lock, stupid]

When Taking A Photo, Technique Is Everything

Click on the thumbnails for bigger pictures.

[technorati tags: photo, technique, everything, photo technique, stupid]